Steve Albert
I always ask if they have kids or pets and, if so, I suggest a finish upgrade. At one client’s estimate, I looked at her and said, “Looks like you have one on the way, so you might want to consider an upgrade.” She didn’t have one on the way ...
Lance Hugo
I meant to text my wife but accidentally texted the customer talking about how crazy she was. 🤣
Glenn Harris
“I can color-match that vinyl planking, no problem.”
Kassie Franklin
“Yes, we can absolutely match the existing stain color.” I learned quickly that “match” is not a word to use.
Benny Powell
“Sure, we can do you a favor and move that fridge for you.” Never moving another refrigerator again!
Jim Hyde
“I may be able to squeeze you in.”
Michael Hartman
Me: “I pulled up the carpet corners in those two rooms [where there was possible water damage to the hardwood underneath] and it looks way better than we thought it would!”
Day one: Pulled all the carpet and found half the floor smack-dab in the middle of BOTH rooms was not hardwood, but patched with ¾-inch subfloor.
Me: “Dear God.”
Gregory Dozorec
“Yes, I will do your floor.”
Mikie White
“Sure, I can do another stain sample for you.”
Eric Nylin
Customer with check in hand …
Me: Don’t worry, you don’t have to pay me now—it can wait.
Customer’s marriage disintegrates two days later … took months to get paid.
Chuck Kutchera
We had just finished final-sanding a foyer and the builder and decorator needed to get out. We said no one was allowed to walk on the floor and would have to exit out a window where they were at. The decorator said she wasn’t used to going out a window and I replied, “Neither am I without a TV or stereo in my hand.”
Chris Rodenkirchen
Me: I don’t think your husband likes me, he never smiles.
Homeowner: It’s because he had a stroke, he can’t smile.
Me: Insert foot in mouth. 🫤
J&W Hardwood Flooring
“Sure, the filler will stay in the cracks.” That was over 20 years ago—never said it again.
Bob Alberding
Texted the customer by mistake saying that their picture of a hand-scraped wood floor would be easy to re-create because it looked like garbage. 🤦 Zach Muhl was supposed to get that text. 🤣
Juan Navarro
“Yes, I can do the final coat on Thanksgiving.”👎👎
Jeremy Harrison
Had a homeowner complain for a month about the smell of poly ... I texted the contractor (or so I thought) that I did the job for and said, “Tell the f*****n customer I said to get over it—he chose to do the wood floors, he chose polyurethane. This is what he deals with. I’ve done my best.” I actually sent that to the customer instead of the contractor by mistake.
Andrew Halabrin
“Yeah, I can definitely pull off your four-week job in three weeks and beat your New Year’s Day completion date—all while doing the job solo!” This is actually on my schedule starting in a few weeks, y’all send some prayers up for me or come help or whatever. 🤦️😂
Ixtsal Hardwood Flooring
“Would you like this to be a bit darker or lighter?”
Ken Fisher
“You are actually living here?” I didn’t think it was dumb, but I was told they didn’t want me in their house again. Thank God I didn’t get that job as a sub.
kayron_sbxla
I told a client her mom liked this sample when putting it down on the floor. She replied, “You mean my WIFE.” I died.
