Lou Buono Jr. He thought everyone got off for their birthday.
Mike Hanning His dad died—two weeks in a row.
Charles Brown "My friend has Crohn's disease." Not him, but his buddy.
Mark Wagner "I ran over a cow on the way to work and got high-centered." He had pictures to prove it.
Wesley Elliott "I have a splinter, and I'm letting it work its way out." STFU!
Randy Golaszewski Sr. "My pig ate through my kitchen floor last night. He's stuck in the crawl space right now and it's the middle of winter. I have to fix it and get him out."
Brett McGlaun He thought Halloween was a holiday.
Micheal Seeley I had an employee show up 12 hours early. I was barbecuing with my neighbors and my buddy ran over to my house to grab something and said, "One of your employees is standing in your driveway." I went over to see a bewildered person standing there. I said, "What's up Jimmy?" He said, "Nothing, boss, just getting ready to roll." I said "Jimmy, look where the sun is in the sky." He fell asleep after work and thought he had slept through the night.
Michael Gwin "I pulled my back wiping after using the bathroom."
Marim Silva "I'm tired, I worked a lot last week." This was on Monday morning; he had the whole weekend to rest.
Mark Langendorf "Sorry, thought it was still Sunday." This was for a no-show on Tuesday.
Jeff McGaughey "My cat has a urinary tract infection and I have to take him to the doctor."
Patrick Lonergan One guy said the news said all the schools were going to close and no one had work because of snow forecasted. We got 1 inch.
Rick Bufalini "My guinea pig died."
Aaron Sheaves "The mountain air got to me and made me sick."
Joe Statti He said his car battery got stolen and he even had a video showing me the missing battery. I'm sure he removed it himself because I lent him money to buy a battery, but he still didn't make it to work the next day.
James Hombre "My dog is in heat."
Charlie Bransom He said he had a urinary tract infection due to a job site portable potty. WTF?!
Joe Eves He fell asleep on the $hitter and didn't have his phone on him when I called.
Bernie Bates "I forgot." He seriously said he forgot.