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Talk Back: Badly Describe What You Do For a Living

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Here are our favorite responses shared by our readers on the WFB Facebook and Instagram pages.


John W. Saunders I make toothpicks out of logs.


Casey Eubanks I take cut-up trees and put them on the ground in different patterns inside buildings. Then I scratch it a lot with rocks to make it look good before I cover it all with invisible armor.


thechancetucker I lay a lotta wood.


Michael Velli I erase big scratches with little scratches.


Jim Sours I curse framers and site superintendents and advocate for homeowners to get their house set straight.


Zane Lee Metz III I babysit grown men from 8-5.


plankd_flooring We plank … a lot!


Chuck Kutchera I'm going to come in, make lots of noise, be messy, stink up your house, and you'll be happy and pay me for it!


mscsinc I'm flooring Cinderella.


Derek Swegle Rocks on paper. Paper on wood. Make it look good.


ds_hardwood_flooring I make a lot of tiny scratches on wood.


ovi_treadline_hardwood I'm a marriage counselor.


Blair Rayfield I'm a "horizontal surfaces technician."


glendorahardwoodflooring I unroll and roll up extension cords.


Chris Schmidt I staple giant puzzles together.


diamondstatehardwoodfloors I splash chemicals on dead trees.


skyrofloors I stick things to other things.


scuba_steve911 People I've never met call me and I go in their house and then I leave with money.


angushardwoodflooring I do floor makeup and pray to get paid for it after I finish.


Alex Frey I make dust.


James Cortright I massage wood with rocks, then color it with minerals.


Daniel Frederick Reddy I take living organisms and slice them into thin layers, then I drive nails through them, grind them with rocks and seal them in clear caskets for everyone to enjoy.


natureshardwoods I sweep up after sheetrockers, electricians and finish workers.


isandnewyork I'm the guy that comes to fix your problem because your friend knew someone "cheaper."


Josh Hansman I make man glitter.


Sean James I mentally and physically abuse myself for money.


RELATED: Talk Back: Finish This Sentence: You Know You're a Wood Floor Pro When...


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