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When John, an experienced wood flooring contractor, received a call from Amy, a prospective client, he told her about the company's products and convinced her to visit his showroom.
Amy stopped by and the two chatted about trivialities for a few minutes. They then sat around a table facing each other while John showed Amy samples of products and described their features, benefits and cost. As they talked, Amy leaned back in her chair as if relaxing. John leaned forward toward Amy's side of the table. While John realized that Amy was relaxed, he still wished she would show a little more interest and enthusiasm. She seemed relaxed to the point of disinterest. John felt himself consciously trying harder and ended up speaking faster. He leaned even farther forward and felt perspiration beading on his forehead. He was losing control of the interview and the sale.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? Have you wished you were able to generate rapport and thereby someone's trust more quickly? Once you have gained an individual's trust, she will be more likely to accept something as long as there is a need. Trust is tough to earn and rarely given quickly. In terms of sales, trust is the degree of confidence the consumer has that the salesperson will do what is best for her. If she believes that someone is competent and has a desire to help her achieve her goals, and if she believes that the salesperson can give her what she wants and needs, she will be more likely to buy.
To earn a customer's trust, you first must establish rapport. Rapport will not necessarily come from a broad smile or chatting for a few introductory minutes. Although friendly banter may be useful, there is a quicker and more effective way.
I recently spent a few hours observing an expert practitioner at gaining trust. Dennis Renter, a million-dollar producing business owner in Newport Beach, Calif., invited a couple to come into his office and talk. I played the part of a silent associate, sitting to the side and in back of the couple. Renter seated the couple at a small circular table,making sure that he sat within two feet of the male, who in this case was the decision maker. Sensing some initial reluctance in the couple, Renter first discussed their mutual friend who referred him. Then he asked the couple for their short-, medium-, and long-term financial goals. I was astounded at how quickly this once-suspicious couple warmed up to him.
Puzzled, I tried to stop listening to the verbal exchange and instead paid attention to what I saw. Surprisingly, all three were in perfect synchrony. Every movement was duplicated by the other. Renter's head was tilted in the same direction as both prospects. They leaned forward onto the table in the same fashion. Even their breathing rates were in unison. They had such a high rapport that I believe Renter could have pulled out a photo of a used Chevrolet and the couple would have bought it.
I paid close attention during his next appointment as well. The same initial social amenities were discussed. This time I looked for only non-verbal cues. The new customer, a mid-level manager, was obviously as relaxed as Renter. I noticed the client lean forward onto the conference table. Within a few seconds, Renter also moved forward from his chair onto the table. What astounded me is how receptive the client was to Renter shortly after these actions. Afterward, I discussed with Renter what I saw. He was unaware of his non-verbal behavior. After 20 years of selling, he had become an unconscious competent. He was quickly able to generate trust, but didn't know why.
This runs counter to everything you were taught about selling. You probably learned in sales training 101 that you must be enthusiastic and full of boundless energy when in front of a prospect. If you are energetic, as the saying goes,your prospect will also become energetic. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Through watching miles of videotaped interviews, I have learned that very articulate and knowledgeable salespeople fail to close business deals because they don't establish a high enough level of rapport and trust with their prospect in the interview.
Frank Triolo, a top-producing salesman in Appleton, Wis., closes nearly 100 percent of his prospects. He mirrors every nuance in his prospect's posture. When a prospect enters his showroom, Triolo watches how the prospect stands and then mirrors her posture. If the prospect crosses her legs when sitting, Triolo does the same. If she leans forward, Triolo follows. This makes a lot of sense. People tend to mirror others they trust. They avoid those they distrust.
Next time you're at a restaurant, try to spot a pair of lovers. They will inevitably mirror each other's every gesture. They'll likely space themselves one to two feet from each other and engage in a kind of courtship dance. If one smiles, the other will follow. If one folds arms, the other will unconsciously fold arms in exactly the same way.
Your first response may be that this seems manipulative. Yes, it can be if done dishonestly. But the big hitters I have observed do it so elegantly, it's impossible to spot. They first match the prospect's initial body posture. When the prospect moves to a new position, the peak producer will wait 20 to 30 seconds and slowly mirror the new position.
One of the most difficult tasks in sales is to help a lethargic prospect become more enthusiastic. Million-dollar producers have an uncanny way of using this rapport mirroring technique for that purpose.
Dennis Renter uses a technique called "leading," which makes clients more receptive. He will first match and mirror his customer's body cues until he feels rapport has been generated. He will then attempt to lead her into increased interest by moving forward in his chair. If the client has a high degree of trust, she will respond by moving forward in her chair. This leading behavior is reminiscent of Air Force jets flying in tight formation. During this maneuver, the following pilots strive to line up their aircraft's nose with the wingtip of the leading plane. After a few minutes in flight, these pilots report such a high level of flying rapport that they fly without consciously looking at the forward wingtip. All planes in formation move as one single welded piece of flying steel.
I decided to test this mirroring and leading theory on my own. I attended a reception the night before a conference where I was to speak. The program chairman held a drink in his left hand with his right hand in his trouser pocket. I also held a drink but was motioning while talking with my other hand. Sensing little rapport as we conversed, I immediately realized our mismatch in body posture. I then mirrored my host by putting my drink in my left hand and placing my right hand in my pants' pocket. I felt our rapport level rising. He seemed much more conversant and candid. To check our rapport level and to try to lead him, I removed my right hand from my pocket. Within five seconds, he also removed his right hand. When I told him later that he had followed me, he was totally unaware.
If you want to gain rapport more quickly, mirror the person you are talking to. But if you want to lead them to your point of view, change your non-verbal cues. If you do not spot them mirroring you in return, your level of rapport is not yet high enough.
You have so far learned that people tend to trust others when rapport exists. That rapport occurs not only in body posture, but also in voice qualities. You probably are aware of the difficulties a New York City salesman has trying to generate rapport with an Alabama prospect. The fast-clipped harshness of the New Yorker's speech would not help generate trust from the slower talking "down home" prospect. But are you also aware of more subtle voice characteristics?
Peak performing business people such as Craig Beachnaw of Centennial Insurance in Lansing, Mich., can work wonders on the phone. Beachnaw is able to raise or lower his voice pitch depending on his client's voice qualities. He instinctively knows that if the client talks in a gravely deep tone, that client will lose rapport and trust unless Beachnaw's voice has the same characteristics. Most importantly, Beachnaw has the ability to speed up his voice pace or slow it down depending on the way his customer says hello.
I recently heard of an executive who received an insurance settlement after learning about voice matching and pacing. After his car was stolen, he spent weeks of negotiation with his insurance company. Finally, he phoned the Des Moines, Iowa, headquarters from his office in Newark, N.J. Immediately, he became aware of the slower voice tempo and tone of the manager on the other end. He changed his voice to match his listener. After the call, he not only received a larger cash settlement than expected, but the check was mailed the next day.
If your associate already knows and trusts you, there is no need to use these techniques. But if you constantly deal with new people who you need to get to know quickly, you must develop high levels of rapport. Your product's features are not as important as what the prospect thinks of you.
Lou Beaudreau, a $5 million-per-year salesman, said at a recent conference that he doesn't sell products. He sells himself. Beaudreau's customers accept his recommendations because of their trust-based relationship. This is a pretty impressive statement coming from a salesman who makes more than his company's president.
Your company is far more likely to saturate you with product details than ideas centering on people-skills. They seem convinced that their mousetrap is the best. They've missed the point. Your customer's trust in you is what separates those who barely make it from those who rarely experience down-times. If you want loyal customers for life, become an expert at dealing with people. Your customers don't trust products—they trust you.
Dr. Kerry Johnson was a speaker at the 2001 NWFA Convention in Palm Springs, Calif., and has written six books about gaining customers’ trust and building sales.