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Successful managers are great handlers of personnel problems. Even the best managers, though, run into occasional workplace challenges with their employees or customers that create more than the usual level of anxiety or heartburn. If left to fester, such situations can even threaten profits or damage your company's image, so no matter how delicate the situation, you need to correct your employees' mistakes. At the same time,however, it's important to keep relationships with your employees professional and nonthreatening.
How good are you at handling things when the going gets tough? To find out, imagine how you would respond to the three employee-related challenges described in this article. Then, see what workplace psychologists say about each.
Challenge #1: Smelly Speech
The Problem: Joe, one of your salespeople, is driving away customers because of his bad breath.
The Solution: Talk about an awkward situation! Few workplace situations are as difficult as the need to discuss personal hygiene. For the moment, picture yourself in Joe's shoes: Wouldn't you take offense if your supervisor brought up this topic?
Awkward or not, this situation is one you'll need to deal with at some point in your career. Letting things slide won't do. An employee's bad breath can impact sales and cost your business real money.
So, how can you approach Joe without creating undue anger? For an answer, we turned to Leil Lowndes, a New York-based communications expert and speaker. "It's always difficult to bring up a topic that can cause embarrassment to your employee," she says. "But you absolutely have to take action quickly. After all, anyone who deals with the public must have immaculate personal hygiene."
For starters, Lowndes suggests selecting your venue carefully. The office setting typically used for personnel discussions provides the requisite privacy, but it may be too formal. "You may want to discuss this matter in a more casual setting such as a business lunch," suggests Lowndes. "Discussing other matters over good food can help break the ice." A lunchtime conversation that revolves around how the employee can further improve his or her performance can naturally be extended to a matter that affects how the employee interacts with customers.
Approach the luncheon with the right attitude. "Stifle your own embarrassment by reminding yourself that you need to have this conversation for the good of Joe and your organization,"Lowndes says. Stay in control of yourself and think of the conversation as a tool for increasing your communication skills.
To bring up the difficult topic, Lowndes suggests waiting until lunch is over, then casually breaking out a roll of mints you've secured for the occasion. Take one yourself, then show the roll to your companion and offer to share: "I always take one of these to keep my breath fresh after I eat. Would you like one?"
This opening line avoids a direct confrontation while allowing your employee to pick up your subtle hint. In the best of situations, Joe will respond in the affirmative and ask if you had noticed his breath. This would provide your opening for a more direct discussion of how such a condition can affect his interaction with customers and thus his career.
Come prepared, however, for an unpleasant alternative. Joe may dismiss your offer and remain oblivious to your subtle conversation opener. Or, he may even take offense, responding with words such as these: "Really!Are you suggesting that I have a problem with my breath or something?" Lowndes cautions against making any sign of embarrassment or regret or trying to be humorous. Rather, immediately make your communication a little more direct. "We all need to be as careful as possible about things like that. This is especially true in our situation, where we work in such close quarters and meet so many customers all day long. We really need to make sure that we make a good impression on them all."
By this time, Joe will have gotten the point, although he may be so embarrassed and angry that he expresses himself in a confrontational way. If he does, allow him to let off steam. For your part, remain calm and avoid responding in kind to any harsh words. Continue to emphasize that you are discussing the topic for the good of the company but also for Joe's own good, because a continued personal hygiene problem will affect his career.
Challenge #2: Rude 'Tude
The Problem: Sharon, a customer, is on the phone complaining about rude behavior on the part of Andy, one of your employees.
The Solution: Rudeness in an employee is inexcusable, and we can all understand why Sharon is upset. Empathizing with Sharon, though, is not the same thing as dealing with her anger in a productive manner. In fact, expressing sympathy with a bromide such as"I understand how you feel" may increase her anger level. The reason for this is that Sharon wants evidence that you value her as a customer in the form of constructive action on her behalf.
Judith C. Tingley, a psychologist and president of Performance Improvement Pros in Phoenix, suggests moving right away to resolve any transaction that has been left hanging: "Go immediately to the subject of whether Sharon's initial problem was taken care of," she suggests. "You might say this: 'I will be happy to talk with you about Andy, but my main concern to you right now is the problem that you had brought up with Andy. Was it solved?' Is there anything we need to do to take care of it?"
"If the problem has been left hanging, try to solve it right there on the phone," Tingley suggests. If you can't take care of the problem while on the phone, then say something like this:"Let me get this problem taken care of first, and then I will call you back and let you know what happened. Then, we can talk further."
At this point, Sharon is already starting to feel better because you are taking physical steps on her behalf. When you call back to report on what you have done, chances are Sharon will be far less angry and may well be flattered that you are going out of your way to serve her. At this point, Tingley suggests following up with a statement such as this: "Is there something else that you would like me to do relative to Andy's conversation with you?"
Sharon may well say, "No, as long as the problem is taken care of, I am OK,but it still seems to me that such conduct by your employee is bad for your reputation."
You want to respond in a way that avoids accentuating the conflict with Andy while assuring Sharon you will take action to improve your staff's performance. Avoid saying that you will"talk with Andy about this." Instead,agree that your customer's interpretation is valid: "Conduct like that is not the image we want to present to our customers. I cannot assure you that something similar will never happen again, but we will work harder at our training."
Finally, conclude by making sure there are no issues left hanging that might cause Sharon to harbor bad feelings about your business. Express this concern in words such as these: "Is there anything more that you'd like me to do?" If Sharon still feels angry she may say, "Yeah, I would like you to talk with Andy about what happened." Then, by all means, respond in the affirmative: "I certainly will do so. I want to make sure all of our customers are treated well." Here, you have communicated the fact that you will reinforce your business policies with Andy without making any statement that escalates the argument or turns it into a bigger problem than it already is.
Challenge #3: The Terminator
The Problem: Sandra, one of your salespeople, has had three poor performance reviews. Although you dread it,the time has come for you to terminate her.
The Solution: Letting someone go can be stressful for both parties involved. For advice on how to conduct the termination, I turned to Jeffrey P. Kahn, M.D., a Manhattan psychiatrist and chief executive officer of WorkPsych Associates, a consulting firm specializing in organizational behavior and employee productivity.
"The key to handling this situation is to be aware of what Sandra might be feeling and also what you might be feeling," suggests Dr. Kahn. Getting a grip on emotions will help you be more emphatic and professional. That, in turn, can help prevent any hard feelings of Sandra's that may cause her to get back at your company through sabotage, a lawsuit or just plain badmouthing.
Easier said than done? Maybe, but here's some help: Kahn suggests starting out by spending some time answering this question: "If I were Sandra and I were let go, how would I feel?" The idea here is not to read Sandra's mind. In fact, Sandra's emotions may be far different from what you expect. Rather, the goal is to better understand your own feelings, for they may reflect what you anticipate from Sandra. In turn, getting a firm handle on your own emotions will help you avoid saying the wrong thing in the forthcoming meeting.
For example, if you'd feel angry about termination, then you may go into the meeting expecting to meet an angry Sandra as well. You may, therefore, conduct yourself in a confrontational way that benefits neither your employee nor your company. "You don't want to end up saying in some words or other that Sandra is a bad person," cautions Dr. Kahn. "She almost certainly is not—she is just someone who did not perform to policy standards."
On the other hand, suppose you'd be afraid in such a meeting. You may well expect the same fear from Sandra and therefore express yourself in a hesitant manner. That's not the right approach, either.
Once you've taken time to understand your emotions, you will be better able to control your reactions to them and stay on point during the meeting. What's a good way to break the ice once the meeting starts? "Odds are Sandra knows something might be up even before she reaches your office,"Dr. Kahn says. "So, in many cases, the easiest way to conduct the meeting is to ask a question rather than make an announcement."
You might start with this opener:"Sandra, do you have an idea about why we are meeting today?" Sandra is likely to respond in this way: "Well, I am afraid you are going to let me go." You can sympathetically agree with her: "Yes, unfortunately, that is what this meeting is about."
Of course, Sandra either may not suspect a termination is planned or may try to avoid the topic by not acknowledging it. In that case, move on: "We are here to talk about your future with the company." That eases into the subject while avoiding a sudden announcement that may be too much of a shock. At this point, you can cite the results of Sandra's last three performance reviews as evidence for the unavoidable conclusion that it is time for her to leave the company. Don't forget to remind her of any severance benefits and to offer whatever help or support you can.
Being aware of your feelings will help you conduct your meeting in a professional manner. Dr. Kahn concludes: "Some people have said that emotional abilities are better predictors of business success than intellectual abilities. A termination meeting is an especially good example of when that can be true."
The same strategies from these three scenarios can be applied to other employee problems. By addressing difficult situations professionally and sympathetically, you will retain amicable relationships with your employees while bettering your business as a whole.
How-To Guides for Communication
• How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, by Leil Lowndes. How psychology and body language can enhance communications. McGraw-Hill, 2003. $14.95.
• The Power of Indirect Influence, by Judith C. Tingley. A guide to effective communications and subtle techniques for influencing others. AMACOM, 2000. $17.95.
• WorkPsych Associates (New York) operates two free e-mail discussion groups for managers and human resource professionals. You may subscribe to “Executive Emotion” or “Mental Health and Productivity in the Workplace” by visiting the organization’s Web site, www.workpsychcorp.com, and clicking on “Handbook, Publications and Listservs.”
• Mental Health and Productivity in the Workplace, by Jeffrey P. Kahn and Alan M. Langlieb. A manager’s guide to identifying, understanding, preventing and resolving individual and organizational mental-health problems in the workplace. Jossey-Bass, 2003. $75.