A marketer who works for a Midwest-based manufacturer and distributor recently penned an open letter to laminate flooring in which the writer shares her fair share of complaints.
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A marketer who works for a Midwest-based manufacturer and distributor recently penned an open letter to laminate flooring in which the writer shares her fair share of complaints.
The writer, who wished to stay anonymous, told Hardwood Floors that the inspiration for the letter was her family’s laminate floor that had been in her home for almost a decade.
“In all fairness, the floor has been great,” she wrote in an email discussing the letter. However, “after eight years and a couple major leaks, it is nearing the time to lay it to rest,” she added.
She’s getting wood next time. Here’s the letter in full:
Dear laminated flooring,
I know you try, but you’re not wood. Sometimes the imagery on your planks is deceptive. The grain patterns and coloring can be good, but if you look hard enough, you can tell it is just a picture. I’ll just try not to look too close.
When I step on you, I feel the cold, impersonal feeling of plastic. Underneath the top layer there may be a little wood, but it is only particleboard—tree pulp ground up and pressed together, just like a chicken nugget.
You do seem to hold up fairly well. Anyone who shares a space with kids, dogs and cats for eight years will look a little battle worn. The problem is, I can’t sand you down and make you look fresh again, that is a luxury afforded to your superior wooden counter part. So I’m left with replacing you altogether.
Oh, how I love the variations of grain, knots and streaks in wood that tell a story that is unique to each tree. And the growth rings... a little reminder that there is a secret version of history that only the tree can tell. Oh wait, laminate, you’re just a facsimile.
It’s just the little things that are missing from you. Where is the fresh scent of wood after a spring rain? Where is the tender spring of a natural composite underfoot? A wood floor brings nature in your home, but you are not that and really, there is too much plastic in my home already.
You are a contender, laminate flooring, I will give you that. In the end, it will be wood for me.
Sincerely,
Delaminated
